‘Shame’ film review

The Fass'

One of the properties of film I most admire is the existence of a character that I can care about for a couple of hours and share an emotional resonance with. This isn’t something that happens very often, but when it does, the film can live with you for years. Ralph Fienne’s peerless performance in The Constant Gardener springs to mind. The scene where he is told bad news about his wife while watering his plants is beautiful because of Fienne’s manner, and the knowledge that we know something he doesn’t makes this scene intimately touching. Fienne’s response to the news is simply heartbreaking. Similarly, Tilda Swinton’s performance in We Need to Talk about Kevin is remarkable for the way she carries herself. If she spots a glimmer of hope in her endlessly awful life, she breaks out into a smile and the screen comes alive with her charisma.

So many films aim to shock us, or astonish us with special effects, that it can often be dispiriting to be left feeling cold and distant from the film. Shame, starring the ubiquitous Michael Fassbender as Brandon and near-ubiquitous Carey Mulligan as Sissy and directed by Steve McQueen is an oddly antiseptic film. Of course, a film about sex addiction and an utterly dysfunctional relationship is never going to be a laugh-out-loud comedy, but Brandon is so enigmatic that by the film’s end I felt I had learned nothing about him. I felt that he had learned too little about himself.

Fassbender effortlessly bases his performance as a man who is dead inside, and goes through the motions of his life which McQueen shoots with great effect as Brandon wakes, plays his voicemails while in the shower, goes to work, self-pleasures in the toilet cubicle finds a woman or views porn for the evening. Again and again, the same pattern repeats itself. Rarely has addiction seemed so vapid and sad, so in this aspect the film succeeds in painting a bleak picture.

The film is bathed in the greys of the unforgiving New York Subway and the energy-sapping low-lighting in the office where Brandon works, producing a muted palette that sometimes looks beautiful but mostly looks quite uninspiring. Despite this, the scenes where Brandon is having fun and enjoying himself show a different side to the film which McQueen might have been wise to have used more of. When Brandon has a date with co-worker Marianne, a genuinely engaging dinner date follows with a hopeless waiter and something of an exploration into Brandon’s feelings of intimacy. He realises how lewd and lonely his life has become and after the date indulges in some spontaneous “spring cleaning” of his porn apparel. Ultimately, the intimacy never works and he spins out of control, mirroring the descent of his sister, Sissy.

Carey Mulligan is such a 'Sissy'

Carey Mulligan plays the part brilliantly and sequences where you don’t know what the odd brother and sister duo will end up doing next impress. The relationship is confusing, sexuality is blurred and history clearly plays on their minds. Sadly, this relationship is still unsatisfying and my impression is that McQueen invested in the characters but decided to omit some details. Perhaps some find this fascinating, perhaps this is a genuinely intellectual approach to film-making, but for me, it seemed vague and half-formed too often.

The curse of the computer room

Integrating technology in the classroom may be a solution but it is also the problem.

A few days ago, I was in a classroom supporting a group. Nothing was actually happening as the teacher was dithering about some activity. I took the opportunity to write some thoughts I have been having about how technology is used in the classroom, how it can be a disaster if not structured and how the fundamental idea behind the computer room is flawed.

There is a real risk of having a disastrous lesson in a computer room. I know this for myself after one memorable observation when I had planned lots of activities for the students to do, yet one student still saw fit to try and sell some DVDs to a classmate opposite. In other lessons in the computer rooms, it became a real problem trying to prise students away from the screen. There have been situations where students become really angry if they are badgered to get off the computer and it has led me to worry about how much time the education system devotes to having students simply sit in front of a screen. Many students spend a lot of time welded to their phones, and of course at home there’s the screen-based activities of the internet, the TV and games consoles.

Having observed many lessons, I have sat with a sort of rising dread as another worksheet gets handed out for the students to carry out. The task is a means to an end, an opportunity to extract something from the assessment criteria out of the students. There have been times when no actual learning has taken place because there is a systemic failure to spend time developing life skills the students really need. That failure allows students to build up bad habits, producing work of variable quality and in some cases, turning class work into solitary exercises.

Scary offices

Let’s take research as an example. I commented on twitter on the Wikipedia blackout day that students across the globe would be unable to copy and paste their college work for the day. It was meant in jest, but there is a deeper truth to the way that students are not challenged enough in how they rip off other people’s work and claim it is their own. Even worse is that it often does not cross their mind to realise they are cheating, not learning and wasting precious time.

Research techniques are not embedded enough across the curriculum in colleges, from my experience. Often, students have found the idea of referencing work odd or long-winded and it can be an uphill battle to get the discipline of crediting people where credit’s due.

In my teaching, I have done what I could to stem the flow of Wikipedia entries coming to me dressed as work. It would partially explain my constant look of terror as I approached the marking box. I familiarise myself with key Wikipedia entries and I have made a habit of copying phrases into google to search for the string of words. I would withhold marks for work I was not confident about and I would go as far as finding the source material and stapling it to work with no further comments.

There seems to be an idea that plonking students in front of a screen and getting them to get work done is ok, but it takes a great deal of skills to manage the situation successfully. Time-constrained targets often work well, with feedback at the end of the task. However, the students need to think the work they have been asked to do is worthwhile; consider the distractions available online and then think about the priorities for the students. Will the work be more interesting than an addictive computer game, a facebook chat or youtube videos of keyboard cat in a Hitler parody? Even in the colleges with blocking software, it is inevitable that someone will find a way to get through the filters!

I was once shown software by a library assistant that showed what each student was looking at one the internet in the computer cluster. At the time I was a bit concerned by it, but as time has passed I have become even more averse to this sort of surveillance. It allows the teacher to keep control but that comes at the risk of student autonomy, which I don’t think is a good precedent to set. I would much rather set out expectations with eventual sanctions rather than a system that explicitly shows a lack of trust in the student.

If Kim Jong-Un likes computer rooms, should we abandon them?

I am consciously trying to balance an argument for computer rooms, but my mindset at the moment is that the computer room is all too often a cop out for actual teaching. As someone who probably has some form of Attention Deficit Disorder, I find classes based primarily around computers really boring; and I know how I react to boredom is to lose motivation to do work. I stop seeing the reason for working, and allow distraction to take over unless I am challenged. I fear this is something students can appreciate all too well and ineffective timetabling can mean some students spend a large proportion of their college time in computer rooms.

There are certainly ways to resolve these issues, and I’m sure that many teachers manage computer rooms brilliantly, so this post is more an observation on what I’ve witnessed and my problems with the concept of computer rooms.

 

 

Birmingham isn’t sh*t

Doubters, be fair warned!

BIRMINGHAM IS A BETTER HOLIDAY DESTINATION SPACE. And space is big, boring and full of idiots, so in effect much like Birmingham. The New York times recently declared Brum the 19th best place to visit in 2012, and it’s all about food. Not about any other redeeming feature of the city, but about where you can chomp on delicious balti’s and other stuff.

But, while Brum’s key boast of 2012 is food, Telly Savalas definitely visited* Brum and made a delightful video on how great the city is. So, here it is in all its glory!

Other good things about Brum

- China Town has some brilliant cafes, inc the amazing Cafe Soya

- The Balti Belt

- Other things (mostly food)

*I very much doubt he visited Brum

A blog entry wot relates to wot I do at university

I’m sitting in the classroom for a module on the MA I am studying. As we go round the room, people are explaining their ideas for their blog for the Digital Cultures unit; a few are saying their blog will be about campaigning, raising awareness, LOL Cats, serious stuff and so on. What is really surprising is that a fair few have said they don’t really “get” the blogging thing, which is a bit of a mystery to me.

Thinking about it, I think the feeling of not understanding something new is quite a common theme but what I find a shame is when people put up a wall before they try something new. Hopefully all my classmates will see that blogging is what you make of it; you can wax lyrical about pets, write about our innermost feelings or keep your private life private and write about films or music. For those that do blog and love it, they become totally self-centred and anxious to get lots of hits on their blog about the perfect spider chutney/hate that look like toilet bowls, etc.

Maybe it’s a natural human thing to resist new technology, but when I think of it, I realise I blog because I enjoy communicating. It doesn’t matter to me that my communiques go unnoticed because the main interest is in keeping my creativity ticking.

If you’re interested, and I want you to know my recipe for the perfect jam smoothie is on the page I’m linking to, I write here about the history of my blog…which basically goes back to when I was a terribly bored teenager who had lots of stuff bubbling up in my brain as I was finishing off my A levels. At uni most of my creativity was absorbed within my studies, and I really started to write again in 2011 for a number of websites until I started this one up again.

Through the module at uni, Digital Cultures, I intend to explore a number of areas of blogging like making money out of it – looking with an angry eye at SEO blogs that exist JUST to exist and hijack people to websites, the people who write all the time with the most banal lists of what they do every day (mostly cake eating I suspect) and I am going to ban all social media from my life for a week which may kill me.

Anyway, here is a blogger who I’m sure most people know of – http://belledejour-uk.blogspot.com

I like photography – here’s my favourites of 2011

I like photography. No, I love photography and some of my most treasured moments come from just being somewhere with my camera and seeing what I can do.

I don’t let myself pretend I’m a pro; I have a Panasonic Lumix LX5 which is a fantastic digital camera, but is no DSLR or professional piece of kit. However, this year I have been exceedingly lucky to experience a lot of the world and take a lot of photos. At last count, the holiday photo folder on my hard drive had over 12,000 images.

So, here are my favourite images of the year!

NEW YORK

Oh, New York! There are so many images I could have chosen; up the top of the Empire State building where a few of my students got all emotional – we pretty much had the viewing point to ourselves and the views were breathtaking. But this one seems to capture a sense of the city…

A close second comes this, which I loved from the second I took it.

LONDON

The South Bank is my favourite part of London, and crossing the Golden Jubilee Bridge at dusk always feels special. The lights of the South Bank, the Oxo Tower, City and St. Pauls’ all vying for your attention. And that’s just one vista.But I love you, so you get two.

JORDAN

Jordan was a magnificent place to visit. Due to the trouble brewing in Syria, we spent more time in Jordan and curtailed some of our trip to Syria. Getting to see Petra was a real experience I’ll never forget, but it’s Wadi Rum that stays with me. The silence…sort of hurts the ears so used to noise. Seeing the vast desert, which is regarded by many as one of the most beautiful parts of desert anywhere, is often breathtaking. Going with a guide who knows the place like no other…wonderful. For £65, I got one of the best 24 hour periods I’ll ever experience.

This was the desert at 8am. I was sure my camera was playing up…but the desert actually did look like it had gone 3D. Beautiful.

SYRIA

As we sat at Queen Alia airport, my friend came up to me looking glum…the British Government had emailed all tourists saying we definitely shouldn’t go to Syria as we’d be fools to do so. The email contained all sorts of information, such as the list of what we should have to hand if we end up in some dire situation.

Clearly, Syria was fantastic. The people were brilliant, the food sublime and the sights were beautiful. As desperately sad as the situation is now, I am very glad I went and soon as I can, I’ll be back. In this shot, we were at the Dead Cities and I was overcome by the lushness of the land, the colour of the soil and the spectacular sky.

GOTHENBURG, SWEDEN

My love affair with all things Swedish continues with my third trip in 5 years. I expect another will happen before long…there is something that fascinates me about Scandinavia and won’t let go. Gothenburg is blessed with an archipelago, and my chosen picture comes from that.

MARSEILLE

I’ve been to Paris twice and liked it, but I didn’t get France until this year when I visited Lyon, the Ardeche and Marseille. I’d always wanted to go to Marseille; the African vibe, the concrete architecture, the fantastic Vieux Port…I thought it’d be great. I was not let down. I was very sad to leave, so I played a new game called “guess the posh English guy getting on the flight”.

NORFOLK

After realising I was too obsessed with foreign travel, I decided to do something about it, so I went to Norfolk. I was led to Norfolk when I searched for the best beach walks in the country and Holkham Beach kept cropping up. It was spectacular; and the image below shows the beach when a wind whips the sand up into a frenzy

COPENHAGEN

I like Copenhagen a lot, though it came with such high expectations I was left a bit disappointed. That said, I’d be more than happy to have the chance to visit again or work there. It has a really good atmosphere, and being close to the water is always a great pleasure.

OSLO

My adventures to Northern Europe continue with a jaunt to Oslo to see an old friend. Oslo is a fantastic city and the waterfront area is wonderful to walk around. This picture may not be perfectly composed, but I love the setting sun on the right edge and the red balloons giving a burst of colour on the left hand side.

OSLO-BERGEN RAILWAY

As I’ve already written about here the Oslo-Bergen railway line will change your life. It was a phenomenal sight in October so I can only imagine how spectacular it looks in the depths of winter.

BRIGHTON

Back in England in December, a friend and I decided to use some free train tickets to go to Brighton. And why not visit a seaside town when it’s raining? It led to this atmospheric picture. I stood by the sea for about an hour, enjoying hearing the waves come in until a creepy man and his dog approached.

 

wobblelikejelly’s best albums of 2011 5-10

  • 5 – Patrick Wolf – Lupercalia

My future husband – though when I think about it, he may be far too high-maintenance for me – released fifth album is another blaze of glory this year; and mainstream success eluded him once more. Despite this, he’s been busy touring the world and getting his name out there.

Of the album itself, it is another advance in his sound; gone is the anger of The Bachelor, and back comes the hopeful pop of The Magic Position, only this time it’s much more 80s-inspired and mellow. The real shocker is that some of these tracks are the lifeforce of Radio 2 and House was a perennial favourite in the summer.

The tracks that stand out as some of the best pop of 2011 are The City, House, Time of my Life, Together and The Falcons. They are all joyous examples of his talents and with his recent EP, Brumalia, show he is currently on a winning streak when it comes to making life-affirming music. Bitten and Time of Year show he possesses a rare talent at crafting catchy music; but there’s still a nagging feeling that he could indulge in some quality control and ditch the dodgy ballads on Lupercalia.

  • 6 – Duran Duran – All you need is now

This is another surprise on the list but Duran Duran deserve this place for the sterling work on this album. A quick look at Metacritic shows since 2000, DD have released 4 albums and only this album has breached the 70% mark which shows that critics have really like it. There are a few pointers to why this album is such a belter. Firstly, it was released on DD’s own label which means that daft ideas like making the band cool need not apply. Secondly, Mark Ronson was producing, and despite him being quite annoying, he’s got a gift at making records sound fantastic.

Many have argued this is their best album since Rio, and certainly tracks like Girl Panic! with its amazing video, Blame the Machines and The Man who Stole a Leopard are all sparkling nods to the band’s past which manage to still sound modern. Basically, Duran Duran have produced a strong record with a handful of classics, making all the misery of the last decade seem odd; could they have made records this good a few years ago?

It’s tempting to expect their next album to be as good, but perhaps they’ve reached a second peak in their career.The video for Girl Panic! plays like a greatest hits swansong and if this is how they bow out, what a way to go.

  • 7 – Metronomy – The English Riviera 

I’m sure this album is a dead cert to go on the best-of lists doing the rounds; how can you not love an album that starts with the sound of seagulls. I love seagulls. The English Riviera is a delightful album that lives in a conceptual world of the English Riviera (Torquay, one would imagine) that is both repellent and perfect. In The Bay, they launch into “it feels so good in the bay” at one point but the lyrics still seem to put the emphasis on getting the hell out of the bay as soon as possible.

The album is sort of entranced by the kitsch appeal of the English seaside town, but it also realises how restrictive it can be. The Look is about getting away, too, against an organ sound that brings back memories of bad magicians in bad resorts. The memories keep the romanticism of the seaside alive, even if the reality is roads slick with kebab juice.

The English Riviera cleverly manages to push forward a gentle electronic sound whilst playing an aural tribute to the seaside. It sounds like nothing else released this year.

Metronomy – Trouble

  • 8 – Elbow – Build a Rocket, Boys!

Elbow at Glastonbury this year was an emotional time. Three times I was close to the edge; in a field full of men close to the edge. To say that Guy Garvey has a voice makes a mockery of voices. He is surely one of the most fantastic live performers out there, with a voice that could silence millions and his voice is particularly lovely on The Birds on Build a Rocket, Boys!

Elsewhere, this is a muted Elbow, who are exploring their quieter side and prodcing the usual spine-tingling results. Open Arms is another of their lighters-in-the-air tracks which sounds wonderful live; but Neat Little Row fails to ignite as their designated “rock” track.

In a way, Build a Rocket, Boys! is very much in the shadow of The Seldom Seem Kid which was the most beautiful album Elbow have released, so there are tracks on…Rocket! which simply don’t measure up. That said, there’s more than enough here to please any fan of the band.

  • 9 – Modeselektor – Monkeytown

Still producing the goods, like no-one else.

Green light go with PVT

  • 10 – Feist – Metals

Hypnotic voice, beautiful music…

How come you never go there?

 

wobblelikejelly’s best albums of 2011 3&4

  • 1 – PJ Harvey – Let England Shake and 2 – Radiohead – King of Limbs review is here

  • 3: Wild Beasts – Smother

The first time I heard Wild Beasts was in Totnes with a good friend. A local independent store was playing the Two Dancers album and he bought it based on what he heard. Over time I listened to the band more, and realised a new act of great potential had arrived. It was with Smother that the band made the great leap from small band to medium band; and I had the great pleasure of seeing them headline the Park stage at Glastonbury this year, to a pretty big audience who had forgone Coldplay, The Chemical Brothers, Big Boi and uh…Glasvegas (really?), for a band who produce intelligent and theatrical music.

In this review, I wrote about Smother:

Very little in Smother raises the heartbeat, but almost every note raises the spirits, elevating Wild Beasts into not just a great band, but an important one.

Wild Beasts managed the impossible during their Glastonbury set; I’d been drinking local psychedelic cider all evening and managed to hold off running for a pee through the entire set…it was such a good show I didn’t want to miss a beat.

The album itself is a refinement of what Two Dancers achieved, and is a selection of tracks that showcase the band’s obsession with sexually charged lyrics (Lion’s Share, Bed of Nails), the vocals of Hayden and Tom, interweave their vocals from theatrical to resonant, and they even do a Coldplay on End Come too Soon. Instead of building a song up to an explosive end designed to fulfill arena goers wet dreams, they build the track up, then let it float off. It’s beautiful. Smother is an ideal album for quality headphone time, to let the worries of the world go on hold for an hour.

Wild Beasts – Thankless Thing

Wild Beasts – Bed of Nails

  • 4: Will Young – Echoes

I have to say, it is a surprise to me as much as you (if you know me) to find Will Young on the list. However, it would be churlish to let music snobbery get in the way of praising a modern pop album that stands out as both classy and consistently strong when most reality stars produce risk-averse identikit album, rammed with filler material.

For me, Echoes is the point at which Will showed he is capable of keeping his career alive and kicking; his previous studio album was Let it Go, which was a success but didn’t really push his sound forward and so it almost passed me by. Then he collaborated with Groove Armada on the fantastic History which really seemed to suit him. The crystal-clear beats with his soaring voice worked wonders for what Will Young could be in the evolution of his career.

On Echoes, there’s nothing that’s as defiantly cold and disco as History, but through the 13 tracks, he lays out his 2011 sound, which uses his voice as a key instrument rather than being smothered by production. It’s a sparse album, and this works wonders on tracks such as Happy Now; Young’s voice follows the trajectory of the music upwards as classy sounds abound…it’s incredibly listenable. The entire album is perfect easy listening, which souds like I’m slighting it, but I’m not. It basically sounds good in any situation. A great mixture of uptempo pop (Jealousy), propulsive tunes (Come on), and George Michael-esque 80′s sounding tunes like Losing Myself makes this a suitably fine album for Young to be releasing as he heads into his second decade of pop.

 

wobblelikejelly’s best albums of 2011 1&2

  • 1: PJ Harvey – Let England Shake

2011 was a remarkable year for PJ Harvey, and her 9th album was by a long shot my album of the year. According to Last.FM I played her tracks 278 times; and played The Words that Maketh Murder 48 times. I’m willing to bet that is an understatement.

Considering her 2009 effort with John Parish was at best patchy, Let England Shake was an emormously satisfying album. In February this year I wrote “It is almost impossible to describe just how immediately brilliant this album is” and the album is one that will mature beautifully into a modern classic. Fittingly, as some want Britain to retreat into the foggy, parochial confines of the Island mentality, this album is infused with Englishness…which in terms of culture is no bad thing. We’ve a lot to celebrate and a lot to mourn and somehow Harvey manages to do both; this is an album inspired by war and yet, there’s a sense of triumph here, but that’s perhaps down to the inspired form Harvey is on.

I was lucky enough to see Harvey perform a lot of this album at I’ll Be Your Mirror – the small festival curated by Portishead. She performed before Portishead, in one stroke creating an almost unbeatable lineup, and it was a thrill to hear these beautiful fragile tracks come to live in the glorious main room of Alexandra Palace. All in all, this was PJ Harvey’s year and no talk of Adele’s sales can deny that.

PJ Harvey – Let England Shake

  • 2: Radiohead – The King of Limbs

The King of Limbs is something of a curious Radiohead release; amongst all of the crazed anticipation when they announced its release, people fell over themselves to declare that they will once more rock like in the olden days. Had Radiohead succombed to a sub-section of their audience and decided to party like it’s 1995 again, then we’d all be much worse off for losing out on TKOL.

This was the first Radiohead to ever baffle and unnerve me, and that was hard to admit at the time. This is nothing like In Rainbows which is a stunning album of light and beauty, and it shows Radiohead’s deft ability to merge electronic and organic sounding music. It sounded enormous and it frankly left behind any lingering doubts that they weren’t the world’s greatest modern rock band.

TKOL cannot emulate that, and Radiohead didn’t even attempt to do it. Instead, they crafted something that is so perfect in its own way that it is impossible to not slowly fall in love with it. Tracks like Bloom and Feral are superb examples of what the band can do with electronics; listen to how Feral opens with such gorgeous clarity and really controlled bass, massaging the centre of the headphone space. Marvel as they float other sounds on top, adding in some earth-shaking bass before they force more frenetic beats, adding layer upon layer of sound. Each layer is perfectly distinguishable from the last, and then…the bass starts to shake the house down, making me wonder if my headphones can cope. It is an absolutely superb piece of sound design, that ends with the most beautiful electronic beeps…astounding. Feral is not the best track on the album.

Radiohead sequenced the last half of TKOL to perfection; Lotus Flower acting as the lone “rock” track on the album that is just a wondrous mash of drums, swirling guitars, deep bass and hand claps. All the best songs have hand claps and all the best music videos feature Thom Yorke dancing. Codex is achingly beautiful and is a match for Pyramid Song for the best slow song they’ve ever made. That they are basically musical sisters sharing the same themes makes it even more perfect. Give up the Ghost was the last track on the album to fall into place in my affections, and now I find the simple structure and *gasp* actual guitar playing a real treat to get me ready for Separator which is sometimes my favourite track on the album, and sometimes not. It’s quite simply perfect and when it builds up the peak, I feel relaxed and really happy.

Do the Yorkey dance

Radiohead also gave ouT further goodies with The Butcher and Supercollider. The Butcher wouldn’t make sense on the album, but it’s the equal to anything they’ve ever released. Tricky beats, synths and Thom’s falsetto equals a superb extra treat.

The Butcher

Fantastic remix of SeparatoR

 

Bonfire Night – Images of the glorious event

I’ve always loved Bonfire/Fireworks/Guy Fawkes/The Colour Thief: a Winter Extravaganza Celebrating the Change of the Seasons/Winterval, whatever the authorities decide to call it to ensure that nobody alive, or dead could ever possibly be offended. To me, it’s much more exciting than Halloween which is just a dreadful exercise of consumption and overspending. To many it is seen as an American import which is incorrect; Halloween goes back to before folks sailed over the Americas and had a laugh.

It dates back something like 1000 years, and is a sort of Irish/Christian thing, moving on from the slightly dowdy Pagan Samhain which, if my memory is working, is the festival where people dressed up like tramps and pretended to be dead before eating some apples. Dead people would come out of their graves for this night but they were never able to eat apples as they were already dead. Apples would of course fall through a skellington and be wasted on the ground (this is why you see lots of Apples on the floor after Halloween!!).

Fireworks night is much more my sort of event, where cheap people like me expect the council to spend thousands on fireworks display. It is a magical time of the year where masses of people get together and actually seem happy, whizz bangs go off and we drink alcohol, fall over and go home safe in the knowledge that 90% of the photos we took will be too blurry to use. It’s brilliant, and this year I went to Southwark Park for my Fireworks fun. In these dying days of Europe, where every time a politican says something, billions are wiped off the worth of people’s pensions (so Politicians, be quiet or doom us all) it is lovely to see pennies being saved to still give the people a good time. And a good time it is, with the display being an absolute delight! I’ve attached some pics for you to peek at, and remember remember, it’s great to dismember.

I also attach an image of the Docklands looking like Gotham City!!

Batman, where are you?!

The Bergen line railway will change your life

I felt compelled to write lots about the wonderful Bergen line train journey but really, the whole thing works best in the visual medium so I have scattered this blog post with images from the journey.

We took this train journey as my friend Graham and myself were staying with the delightful Dave Nikel who recently moved to Norway, his diary is here. On our first night in Oslo, we found ourselves invited to a party in this great old pub in Oslo that fulfilled all my Scandinavian dreams of dark wooden beams, wooden tables and weird bar staff who claim only girls drink cider. Granted, the only cider on offer was the reliably girly Kopparberg, nothing like the manly scrumpy I drink in England. Grr, manly! The Norwegians we met told us about the train journey and agreed it was average for the first few hours before becoming beautiful.

The journey is around seven hours and so I decided to sleep for the first 2 hours; when I woke I noticed the landscape had already changed dramatically to one of lakes and big hills…not quite mountains. Even this landscape was undeniably impressive!

The early stages of the train journey

A while later, and the landscape became more and more remote and ever more stunning, we started to discuss the use of the words “epic” and “awesome” because clearly these words are overused. When confronted with the epic and awesome beauty of nature at its best, there are few things in the world which can compete.

As the landscape changed, we became more and more excited, jumping from one seat to the next. This is where we found paying for the Comfort Class came in handy; it’s like First Class but still remarkably cheap for Norway. Nobody was in our way as we hopped from seat to seat and basically acted like we’d never been on a train before. For a one-way trip on the Oslo-Bergen railway, you’ll be looking at about £40. This may be the best deal in Europe.

One of the most arresting sights on the journey was a valley filled with mist. At the moment the mist was most apparent, the view cleared up and we could admire it in full.

Misty

We were able to track the temperature and the height above sea level on the train and over time, we noticed we were gaining altitude without ever being aware of it; the temperature outside was hovering close to zero and at every stop, we rushed out to take photos and just brathe in the air which was beautifully fresh. As we reached 600-800m above sea level we started to see the beginnings of snow in the distance and so we recommenced being as excited as puppies.

Lake Silencio

Little did we know as we spoke of how this was the most beautiful thing ever that in fact, we were seeing the pre-amble to ascending Europe’s highest mountain plateau where the beauty was cranked up to 11. Here, the mountains were dusted with snow, the lakes were half-frozen and it was hard work getting back on the train, such was the desire to just explore the area, move into a wooden hut with a grass roof and marry a woman called Helga.

Sigh

After we reached the peak, 1,222 metres above sea level at Finse, we could feel ourselves heading downwards, and the snow started to dissipate. It was a really surreal train journey, going from 10c in Oslo, to -3 in Finse, to 8c in Bergen, seeing the weather change so dramatically.The station at Myrdal, 880m above sea level, is the stop for the Flåm railway which is another trip I will have to do. It is Europe’s steepest railway line and looks every bit as spectacular as the Bergen line.

Myrdal Station

This journey is wonderful for anyone who is in Oslo and who fancies a day out that will live with you for years to come. For us three, the trip was just for the railway, we weren’t expecting Bergen to be as charming as it was. For a town that rains 220 days a year, it was utterly delightful and rain free! This was a really superb trip and will go down as equal to the magnificence of my day in Wadi Rum desert in Jordan. I feel incredibly lucky to be able to see these sights.

More photos here! http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrbutler/sets/72157627868138499/